Typing Test

10:00

O you've hooked electrodes and power couplings to an old-fashioned carousel in an abandoned amusement park on the outskirts of town. Or you've outfitted a Harley-Davidson with a flux capacitor classic. Or, my personal favorite, you're using depleted uranium to turn the underused freight elevator in your building into a time-ship. As a soon-to-be time, traveler, the last thing you want is somebody telling you "Do this!" and "Don't do that!" You're about to become a pirate on the open waves of the ocean of time. Good for you! It's sure to be a wonderful adventure. One no doubt filled with romance, knowledge and treasure. But here, humbly, are a few things to keep in mind. DO go forward in time first. No matter how stable you think your time machine is, your first jump should always be into the future. It's a mistake to visit President Lincoln on your maiden voyage. The past is loud, smelly and dangerous. And without at least one pit stop in the future, the road backwards is a million times more difficult. Imagine getting one good jump out of your device and then getting stuck in, say, 1861. You'd have to live out the rest of your life in the dark past. They didn't even have a sun until the 1840s. Great, if you are some kind of wild history nerd. But you have no resources. You probably don't have the right kind of money. Clothes, forget it. Even Civil War reenact ors are flushed out within seconds in the past. It's best, no matter how flushed with megalomania cal power the creation of a time machine has made you, that you go first into the future to get all the latest updates and then start thinking about venturing into the past. The Future is Your Friend. Think of it as a great big safe house for time travelers filled with strangers who may not be thrilled to help you, but probably will point you in the right direction. After all, time traveling is no big deal there. You remember how cool you felt when you suffered under the illusion that you were the only one you knew who had the new iPhone? In the future, iPhones aren't very cool. And time machines are a commonplace of everyday life. Like a blender or a telephoner. They'll know how to hook you up and get you ready for your journey back in time. O you've hooked electrodes and power couplings to an old-fashioned carousel in an abandoned amusement park on the outskirts of town. Or you've outfitted a Harley-Davidson with a flux capacitor classic. Or, my personal favorite, you're using depleted uranium to turn the underused freight elevator in your building into a time-ship. As a soon-to-be time, traveler, the last thing you want is somebody telling you "Do this!" and "Don't do that!" You're about to become a pirate on the open waves of the ocean of time. Good for you! It's sure to be a wonderful adventure. One no doubt filled with romance, knowledge and treasure. But here, humbly, are a few things to keep in mind. DO go forward in time first. No matter how stable you think your time machine is, your first jump should always be into the future. It's a mistake to visit President Lincoln on your maiden voyage. The past is loud, smelly and dangerous. And without at least one pit stop in the future, the road backwards is a million times more difficult. Imagine getting one good jump out of your device and then getting stuck in, say, 1861. You'd have to live out the rest of your life in the dark past. They didn't even have a sun until the 1840s. Great, if you are some kind of wild history nerd. But you have no resources. You probably don't have the right kind of money. Clothes, forget it. Even Civil War reenact ors are flushed out within seconds in the past. It's best, no matter how flushed with megalomania cal power the creation of a time machine has made you, that you go first into the future to get all the latest updates and then start thinking about venturing into the past. The Future is Your Friend. Think of it as a great big safe house for time travelers filled with strangers who m